Bohemia Bunny

The Funnerology Principle

Love is a gamble

Urgh, if repressed emotions could be used to propel spacecraft, I’d be on the moon by now. Sure, I’d be dead of suffocation too, but there you go.

To put it simply, I gambled and I lost. I had a good thing, but I got greedy and I wanted too much, so I went all in and lost everything. I couldn’t wait and I couldn’t bide my time, so I pushed it beyond its limits and my carefully constructed house of cards came crashing down.

I have so many regrets but what good are they now? Let them serve as cautionary tales in the future.

Time and again I seek freedom from others, only to realise that my gaoler wears my face.

TODAY is the best day of my life!

Theoretically, this should be true of every day. And while “every day” may not be the case, I definitely have no issues with waking up and declaring this to myself as I head into the shower. I am a powerful and highly motivated individual! Today was quite special, we had an in-house workshop and it was a great success. I can FEEL the improvement in the students, and it’s really touching to know that we are able to bring such changes in them. I love my job. *tear*

I hope it will be an experience that they will treasure. I know that it never gets old for me, and this is my 3rd time doing the workshop. I also got to meet some of my students’ parents when they came to collect their kids. A good opportunity for me to practise my networking skills. I’m still a kid inside, and I’m working on being more natural and less intimidated when talking to “adults”.

I got a ride back in my boss’ convertible later, and I got to sit in the front seat with the top down! Wheee! Ok la weather outside a bit sticky, but hell if it’s going to spoil my enjoyment. One day soon, it’ll be me in the driver’s seat of my red soft-top Mazda MX5. It’s a car I’ve been chasing (not literally, please) since I was 15, so it will really be a dream come true to put the top down on my own car and go zoom-zoom. It’s good marketing for our company for me to be seen exiting expensive cars while wearing our company shirt.

I’m really looking forward to 2 appointments that I have tomorrow, I’m bringing a renewed energy to the table and I think they’ll be resounding successes. I always believe in doing customer service from the heart, and the bottom line will take care of itself. Then on Thursday I have my very first “solo performance” – for 2 hours I have the audience all to myself. Even when doing drama, it wasn’t a monologue, so that will be a really cool experience. Ramping up to my dream of becoming a superstar! That’s one of the career ambitions I wrote down when I was in Form 2. My teacher skeptically wrote it down in my report book, and it’s not like it mattered since we were supposed to list 3 ambitions. But I never let go of my love for the spotlight! One day soon I hope to be recognised while grocery shopping in the supermarket or something like that.

Today was hella good fun, and I’m still high. Can you tell?

Things I can do now that I have perfect vision

Disclaimer: I’m not actually sure it’s perfect-perfect – they haven’t given me the full eye test. But I haven’t bumped into anything or become unable to read anything, and that’s good enough for me.

  1. I can leave my fingernails long and have pretty manicures now that I don’t have to worry about poking my eyeball when I take my contacts out.
  2. I can go straight to sleep when I come back for work. Hygiene issues notwithstanding.
  3. I can go swimming (in another 2 weeks) without needing prescription goggles.
  4. I can go for barbecues without worrying about the heat melting my lenses (yes, yes, urban legend).
  5. I can take naps without worrying about waking up with dry lenses.
  6. I can now choose to wear cheap coloured contact lenses instead of paying extra for Toric lenses.
  7. I don’t have to contend with steamed-up glasses when eating noodles in hot soup.

It burns, it burns!

I had things poked onto the surface of my eye today, stared into a laser while it burned off my corneal tissue, and slept for 5 hours in the middle of the day for no better reason than that my eyes hurt. And I paid lots of money for the privilege!

I went for my LASIK consultation at SingLasik 2 weeks ago, right before Chinese New Year. The consultant, Dr Chua Wei Han, determined that I was a suitable LASIK candidate so we went ahead with the actual surgery on the 25th. In preparation for surgery, I’ve been wearing my glasses full-time – no more contacts since I came back from KL. It seems to be operation week at the office, my boss went in for root canal treatment earlier this week.

The glossy booklet that they gave me after my LASIK consultation seemed to suggest that LASIK was magic – in and out and ta-da! Perfect vision instantly. Well, it didn’t quite happen that way, but if they were to detail the discomfort, people would get turned off.

Firstly, 2 weeks ago, they put in pupil-dilating drops so that the doctor could get a better look at the inside of my eye. The effect of these drops were twofold: They made me much more sensitive to light (Bio students, please write me 3 sentences explaining why) and for some reason they also “froze” my lens. The lens of my eye was unable to accommodate and become thicker or thinner as needed, so I wore my specs to see into the distance and took it off for near work such as reading and using the computer. Perhaps this is a preview of how middle age will be like. The effects lasted all of Thursday and Friday, and only wore off on Saturday in time for me to go back to KL for the reunion dinner.

Today, they gave me a shower cap, gown and shoe covers. The shoe covers were pointy and made me look as though I was wearing elf shoes. Sadly I had to switch off my phone and didn’t get a picture. The nurse also stuck a coloured sticker above my right eye, just so we don’t get mixed up as to which is which. Then after some eye prep and a briefing, the doctor ushered me into the laser suite. I lay down on the bed of the laser machine, and the bright lights got all in my face. Eventually the doctor took a seat behind me and put on the suction ring. I wish he could have told me what he was doing and what was going to happen, because there were a few times that I flinched when all he wanted to do was put some anaesthetic drops in my eye. I’m a twitchy person!

The right eye got the suction ring, he told the nurse “on”, and my vision slowly dimmed and went black. The pressure increased further as they slid me under the femtosecond laser, and I couldn’t move my head but still had to let out some nervous energy, so I tapped my index fingers against the bed. They didn’t do a countdown for me :( so I had to distract myself with the tapping and playing “Don’t Stop Believing” inside my head. Then the left eye had the same treatment.

“Okay, the hard part is over!” my doctor said, then slid the excimer laser over my head. Damn these bright lights. It took him a while to flip over the corneal flap – it’s like a few micrometers thick, so totally not easily to handle something so delicate. Through it all, a flashing red light kept me company as I held Disco Night in the privacy of my imagination. The tap-tap-tap sound started up, there was a slight burning smell – not pungent at all, smokers are much smellier – and a staff member counted out the 4 sets of laser zapping. I continued with my finger tapping and looking at my friend, the red light. It got kinda boring looking at it after a while, your neurons just stop responding to it, but I just had to STAY FOCUSED or else my investment will go down the drain.

The left eye got the same clamp insertion treatment, followed by the corneal flap flipping, then the laser. Shortly after it finished, Dr Chua asked me if I had been diligent in using the eye drops he prescribed 2 weeks earlier. Apparently once or twice a day was not enough, my left eye was on the dry side so he put on a bandage contact lens to keep it moist. I can sleep with it, and he’ll remove it tomorrow after the post-op consultation.

I could definitely see far things more clearly straight out of the laser suite – wordings above doors were readable, whereas they’d just have been blurs in the past. That’s not to say I was comfortably seeing straight away – everything had a foggy, cloudy feel (my cousin’s wife described it as looking through a piece of plastic) and the glare was horrible. The contact lens bandage was another $10.70 on the bill, the rest of it was paid before the operation. Good idea to pre-pay since most people are probably a little disoriented post-op. They gave me a pair of plastic shades to wear to sleep – they double up as sunglasses as well.

I have 2 eyedrops that go in every few hours, one is an antibiotic while the other is a steroid. Then I have some lubricating eye drops for whenever things feel dry. My left eye feels fine, actually – it’s my right eye that has a weird feeling. Like there’s something between my lower eyelid and the eye. Everything still looks a bit halo-ey, like someone turned up the Glow on my visual world. But I definitely feel better now compared to 7 hours ago – I took a cab back, and by the time I arrived I was in pain, my eyes were burning, the right one hurt like no one’s business, and the only thing I could do was sleep since I couldn’t even open my eyes to watch TV or something. So I set my alarm for the next dose of medicines at 3.30pm and went to sleep. Repeat dosage, set for 5.30pm and sleep. Somewhere between the alarms, the pain got so bad I took 2 ibuprofen. Now I feel fine.

Would I recommend LASIK? I’ll tell you again tomorrow – I expect to wake up to a world of visual acuity I haven’t experienced since I was 10 or 11 years old. Is the surgery for everyone? You’d have to make an appointment with a specialist to find out. I chose SingLasik because it’s part of Singapore General Hospital, so they’re not so profit-driven and they have access to research and training facilities that private companies may not have. Also, it’s cheaper. But if you’re the twitchy, scared-of-pain type, my experience might scare you off. I don’t even think I had a bad experience – side effects are to be expected after any surgery. And I’m not any braver than most people – I just cope better with the fear, knowing that I’m in good hands. I’ve been through dental surgery where a dentist wrested an embedded tooth out of my palate. I’ve been poked and prodded by many needles of many sizes. I’ve had tubes inserted into my chest, had them removed, and had another one run up my vein. Suffice to say, somewhere along the line, I learned to deal.

My hair’s grown back in nicely, although I could do without the curl. Now my eyes are on the way to perfect. Next thing to fix: My teeth. I intend to become a public figure in Singapore soon, so have to take care of my image you know? And shh. I know I need to lose weight also. But unlike LASIK and dental services, you don’t need to go to an expert to lose weight.

Update 26th February: I went back for my 1-day post-operative review and everything’s fine, the doctor took out the bandage contact lens which apparently had refractive power. Oh, that explains why my left eye failed the vision test. Everything looked blurry on that side. I’m due to go back next week.

Ha, everything is so clear it’s as though I’m wearing contact lenses but I’m not! Hahahaa! Come home tired and can just hop into bed! Wheee! This rocks, and even the idea of putting in eyedrops every 30 minutes is fine. That’s only a temporary measure anyway.

S-O!

Man, trolls are so lame. On a social networking site, I put in my profile: “You should message me if you want to learn how to make the most of your life.” I’m in the personal development line, so I do truly mean that. But then some asshole decides to take umbrage at it or something, and sends me a message: “Show me how to make the most of my life, or are you just blowing smoke?”

Troll. So I just respond “Why don’t you start with trolling less? I don’t think we have anything in common. Thanks for reading my profile!” and leave it at that. Kill ‘em with kindness, ya know? I don’t have time for lame-ass young punks with giant chips on their shoulders. Well today I get a reply that is essentially a straw man argument, and I just go “Welp, time to block you, asshole!” Pffft. His argument basically went “the world will be so boring if everyone has the same opinion, and I’m serious when I asked!” Yeah well, fallacy run-down: I didn’t ask for anyone to agree with me 100%, but 0% agreement and 98% OPPOSITION says that you’re pretty much not worth my time. Secondly, if you’re serious, maybe you should ask more nicely. How can you learn when your cup is already full, grasshopper? I couldn’t think of any proverbs to use that would not be construed as an insult – “throwing pearls before swine” and “dui niu tan qin (playing the zither for cows)” were 2 that sprang to mind. Then again, maybe those proverbs are insulting for a reason.

I am the problem between keyboard and chair.

Yesterday I ran a WordPress training session for the rest of the staff in the office, and it came to light that one of our corporate blogs (we run more than a handful) was still running on WP 2.1. This meant that the notes I handed out, which were based on the 2.8.6 interface, weren’t totally correct because of the user interface changes between the versions. So I thought I’d do an FTP upgrade of the blog.

I don’t have cPanel access, that’s why I have to FTP it. Still, WP is generally easy to handle. Even via FTP, it should be quick and painless.

Should be. If you’re not the kind of hero idiot I am who doesn’t RTFM. I very cleverly uploaded everything. EVERYTHING. Even the wp_content and config files. So clever.

So when I’m done with the FTP at 9pm last night, I go to the site and get a fatal error. Huh. I meddle with it for another 45 minutes, then have to call it quits and go home.

At home I mess with the config files some more, and finally! No more fatal error! The page loads… for another blog. Somehow or other, my copying of the config files from another WP install caused it to load databases for that blog as well. Huh. Damn. Subsequent Googling suggests that WP 2.9 may not be as stable as I’d like. Okay, good thing I still have 2.8.6. I’ll use that instead. But it’s already 1.20am, and I’m falling asleep in front of the computer. I have to go to sleep.

I have apocalyptic dreams about a giant wave flooding KL and having to move my possessions to a flat higher up in the building. Which is odd, because I’ve never lived in a flat during my years in KL.

I wake up and start up the computer. FTPing away the files takes ages. Then I have to FTP a clean install back on. Maybe it was good that I chose to commit this act of stupidity right before my day off, so I can spend my rest day fixing my own giant mess. Bring up the site again, and it wants a wp-config file. Okay, I got this. Not immediately, but eventually I get in and HALLELUJAH! It’s there! All there, posts, categories and comments. As though I hadn’t done anything.

Except for one thing.

It’s gone back to the default theme. But no matter, I got this. This is easy. Reinstall theme, and there we go. Almost as good as new. The one thing left: To fix something somewhere so that the Chinese text displays. Now this, I have no idea how to fix. But Google does. Back to the config file. And finally, ta-da! Everything’s back to normal on the front end, and on the back end the only difference is the UI. It’s as though all the stress and frustration didn’t happen. It never should have, if I hadn’t been so darn clever. Ugh, never again. Lesson learnt.

New baby Vaio

Vaios are overrunning the office. We must resist the efforts of the Macbook clan to overtake us! I have fortified the ranks with my Vaio Z.

Anyway pictures of my birthday presents!

Crumpler bag from colleagues, Perlini necklace from boss and wife (I think – she only wrote “from all of us” on the card), wine from Mei Ling and Eva, and Sham, Munchkin from the boyfriend, Munchkin Cthulhu from Eric and Gabriel, and Sony Vaio from my bank account. The day after this was taken, another colleague gifted me a top from Esprit.

New baby with its friends the Chirpee laptop sleeve and my Razer ProClick 1.6 mouse. *looks at mouse* Hmm, to Mamba or not to Mamba? Or better yet, a mouse that tracks on glass? Ah, that will be on next year’s wishlist, I have spent too much already.

“I’m so pretty, can you see the sparkles on my carbon fibre lid?” Sparkly for extra strength, just like a certain vampire…

“And my brushed aluminium layer!” New answer for Chemistry O Level question: Name a use for aluminium – to make expensive laptops.

My pet betta fish. It requires zero maintenance. Not standard with the retail Windows 7, I got it off the Internet as it only shipped with the Beta version. They ought to have made it standard, it’s so pretty. A moment of computer Zen.

It’s not called a Macbook keyboard if other computers have it too. I call it chiclet, some people call it isolated, some people call it “oooh!”

The requisite full-body shot.

And finally:

Yay!

Birthday shopping 2009

It’s turning into a habit, a yearly splurge as my birthday approaches. No la, it’s cos Windows 7 came out in time for my birthday! And also because I exercised my birthday girl privileges and dragged the boyfriend shopping with me. In conjunction with my awesome birthday, I had a very spendy shopping session.

The day before my birthday, we went to Ngee Ann City because I wanted a specific Majolica Majorca mascara from the Watsons there. I bought it on the sales assistant’s recommendation, only to go home and find out that it was the wrong variant. I eventually returned it and got my money back, and bought the correct type off eBay. It’s not sold in Singapore. Sigh.

We hit up HMV to buy my Muse album The Resistance, and picked up 4 books for $40. He got the Motorcycle Diaries trilogy by Che Guevara (yes the dude on the shirts) and I got Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I haven’t even opened the plastic wrapper of the book yet, but I’ve had a listen through the entire Muse album and it’s great. See the power of branding – I bought the album without so much as testing it, knowing that Muse CDs are always worth the price. All killer no filler, although some songs are less stellar than others, but still better than some stuff on the radio. *snob*

Then of course I bought my Vaio Z, which necessitated some accessories for it. I’m not insane enough to buy an entire “wardrobe” of accessories just because I have a new laptop. It’s just that my Zeroshock laptop sleeve can’t fit in my bag, and I don’t want my Vaio to go “naked”. If the sleeve fit inside, I’d have continued using it, never mind that it’s big enough for a 15-inch machine and my Vaio is only 13 inches. I actually went to Spotlight, thinking that I could buy some nice fabric and make my own laptop case and phone pouch. In the end I left Spotlight with a piece of felt and a spool of metallic thread. I’m still going to make my phone pouch by hand, but a laptop sleeve is a large order for my limited skills. I bought a cute brown sleeve from Ripples in the basement of Plaza Singapura instead for $23.90. It’s cushiony and made of cuddly canvas with twitter-like birds embroidered on it. Next time I’ll go back and buy the matching flip-flops.

To protect the game cards in the Munchkin decks I got for my birthday, I bought some exorbitantly expensive card protectors from my regular comics shop. They were sold out of the clear ones which are 4 dollars per hundred, so I got blue and silver-backed ones for 8 dollars per hundred instead. Meh. In order to get maximum return from my ill-advised investment, I am considering having a Monthly Munchkin Meeting to play the game. I also printed out the game guides freely available from the game’s website, and put them in clear PVC folders. Much cheaper than laminating, plus I can reuse for other games!

Finally, I bought “Plants vs Zombies” from Big Fish Games to play on my nice new PC. Hee. I have so many nice things!

Happy 25th Birthday, Lynn Chan!

It was a good birthday. Heck, it was an awesome birthday. I got presents, I had a party, we all had fun, and I was very very happy. I haven’t been so happy in a long time.

This was the birthday I almost didn’t live to see, if you wanna get all melodramatic. I never doubted I’d make it here. My birthday party was planned 6 months in advance, way back in April as I lay on my hospital bed while the IV machine whirred. I would have ice-cream cake, I decided.

So yes, we did have ice-cream cake yesterday, along with pizza, chips and Gabriel’s coffee jelly. We played Saboteur and Munchkin Cthulhu and Monopoly the card game, which ends much quicker than Monopoly the board game. My colleagues bought me a Crumpler bag, and brought in a cake which we forced on the students with the promise that it carried blessings for their O Levels.

Today all of us at the office went to Pizza Hut for lunch and they gave me a free dessert. It was quite good, and would have been better if I wasn’t already stuffed full. I settled my eBay purchase, got my paycheque, and made the biggest decision of my life. And no, opting for chemotherapy was easier than this decision, because that’s sensible while this decision is based purely on desire.

Finally, after 13 months of waiting, the Vaio Z series was refreshed with Windows 7 machines. I contacted a regular on the Hardwarezone forums, who works at Sony Style in Tampines One. Sony machines are price-controlled so you can’t get a discount, but I did get some nice freebies.

I rushed to finish my work before 9 so that I could get there before the shop closed. I called a cab because none were coming, and during the cab ride I wondered if this is what new mothers feel as they’re wheeled into the delivery suite (that is, if the pain wasn’t preoccupying them). Finally, after so long, they’re going to meet the mystery individual that has been so very close and yet ultimately unknowable – until now.

Part of it is just how very long I’ve been waiting to make this purchase, but so what? Lots of people save up for ages to buy something, I’m hardly the first. Maybe it’s also the momentous occasion of a giant expenditure, and the first time I’m buying a computer with my own money. Prior to this, the most I’d ever spent on an item was 450 dollars on my bass. Yes, rent costs twice that, but rent is a necessity.

So now, the fruit of my labours is copying files to recovery discs while I type this on the empress dowager, my Acer. The Acer is 4 years old, although it had a hard drive and RAM replacement so actual age is about 2 years? Dunno. I’m keeping it around to watch DVDs on, because I have a little utility on it that breaks region codes, and I need that. The utility doesn’t work on 64-bit computers like my new Vaio.

And just like new parents, the fun ends once the help leaves and you’re alone with the baby. And you find out that it cries and poops and you have lots of caring to do. Soon my pristine hard drive will clutter up, despite my best efforts at file management. I have got better at it though, my work computer is much neater than my own computer. Anyway Windows 7′s Libraries function makes neatly arranged folders an obsessive-compulsive option.

Anyway, I really had fun this birthday. And getting presents is very nice, especially as I wasn’t expecting any. And now I have a really good haul, and what did I do to deserve it? I got born. That’s quite humbling actually, that people love you so much that the anniversary of your being born is something to be celebrated. So, thanks to everyone for making this such a memorable birthday!

Wishlist for EOY 2009!

Ahhhhhh so many things to buy with Windows 7 coming out!

1. Sony please hurry up and refresh your Vaio series with Win7, I want it factory-installed as I don’t like messing about with installing OSes.

2. The Sims 3! Because living my own life isn’t enough. I want to control little virtual lives too.

3. New Wacom Bamboo Fun tablet is now multitouch. For 300 bucks. Hm. Hm. Still thinking about it.

4. Apparently anyone can pick up a copy of Microsoft Office 2007 Home and Student, which is the edition that I like because it’s cheap and has OneNote, which I’ve learned to love. So, no rush to get this. Office 2010 is also coming out, public beta comes out next month. Never thought I’d get excited over a productivity suite, of all things.

5. I want to take my new laptop home and install Diablo II on it, I’m tired of waiting for Diablo III to drop. That’s when I’m not too busy earning Simoleons and dictating the toilet habits of my Sims.

6. I need a new pair of daily-wear Adidas shoes, my current Ingia pair are worn out at the sole.

7. Arggghhh gotta find time to try on, buy and alter jeans. I hate buying trousers. On the other hand, good thing I’m buying them now and not 4 months ago when I was much thinner.

8. Forever Katamari is out on the PS3, I had a go at it last weekend at Funan. But I don’t have a PS3 and I don’t want to buy one just to play Katamari… I should rent one. I don’t even have a TV~

9. Need to buy a new bottle of skin makeup primer from M.A.C. as my red earth tube has started to smell. Erk.