… I would tell my 1-year-old self that she is a very lucky baby.

… I would tell my 3-year-old self that she is about to meet the only other person on earth who knows what it’s like to grow up in my family.

… I would tell my 6-year-old self not to swing round the pole in the backyard, because I might fall and split my head.

… I would tell my 9-year-old self that teachers are human too, and are not above taking me down a notch or two.

… I would tell my 12-year-old self to stand up straight.

… I would tell my 15-year-old self that boys are also, sometimes, scared of girls.

… I would tell my 16-year-old self that “hey you, I mean me, I mean… ah, fuggedit, go take up the bass. Now. Even if you have to beg Mummy and Daddy for it.”

… I would tell my 17-year-old self that most boys aren’t worth the effort you put into impressing them.

… I would tell my 18-year-old self to believe in love.

… I would tell my 19-year-old self to remember this moment of triumph as she held her results slip.

… I would tell my 20-year-old self that decent boys will tell you how they feel, even if they feel nothing for you.

… I would tell my 21-year-old self that leaving someone is being cruel to be kind.

… I would tell my 22-year-old self that music will return the love you give it, so love it.

… I would tell my 23-year-old self to buy health insurance.

… I would tell my 24-year-old self that one day not too far away, I’ll look back and have a great story to tell.

… I would tell my 25-year-old self that you never forget how to love.

Take a look back at this old post from 3 years ago. Funny how most things haven’t changed at all, but then they’re all in the past anyway. I think, 3 years and another relationship on, it’s time to build another list. And it’s going to be terribly different – instead of focusing on the dude’s circumstances (which can be highly variable and subject to change anyway), it makes more sense to look at his personality.

1. I have still only ever dated Chinese guys. I just like the way they look, even if they have single eyelids and flat noses.
2. I have still only ever dated eldest children. That’s not a statistical surprise – think about it, the proportion of eldest/only children in the population for my generation must be close to 50%. Hypothetical example: Let’s say 50% of kids in a population are eldest or only children, 40% are second children (whose elder sibling is in the previous 50%), 7% are third children (with elder siblings in the preceding 90%) and the remaining 3% are fourth or subsequent children. Okay so my numbers may be a bit exaggerated, but you see how it goes? I don’t filter prospects by birth order, so this eldest kid streak of mine is probably just serendipity, and due to the fact that as an eldest child myself, there are parallels in personality that contribute to compatibility.
3. Still have an overwhelming preference for younger guys, although it’s not on purpose. I’m not a cougar in the making, I swear! Age just isn’t an issue to me, and I don’t seek out older guys to take care of me or compensate for nonexistent daddy issues. I’m not looking to be someone’s replacement mum either. I’ve had enough of nagging and picking up after guys. I want to act my age for once.
4. Nonreligious guys preferred. And I would actually prefer a lapsed/fallen/backslider/recovering/ex-Christian to someone who was a free thinker all along. Reason being, for them to have left their faith, there was thinking involved. A conscious choice was made. They’re not likely to go back, not without a really good reason. Also, it implies the presence of a somewhat logical brain.
5. Nonsmokers. Without exception. I went on a date with a smoker once. That was the first and last time. Look, I know smokers aren’t evil. I’d be okay with them as friends. But constantly being around someone who carried lingering smoke on their clothes, and the accompanying fetid breath… no thanks.
6. Good English, which also implies being literate. My litmus test – Neil Gaiman. They don’t necessarily have to have read him, but as long as they are capable of reading, understanding and APPRECIATING The Sandman and American Gods, they pass. I am a Gaiman fangirl and I make no apologies. The alternative is to use the Harry Potter series as my litmus test, but I think that would let in slightly more immature minds instead. They have to know the difference between “its” and “it’s”, even if they slip up sometimes. Gahd knows that while my written English is nearly perfect, my spoken English causes mirth and merriment.
7. Animal lover. Fish are not pets. Dog, cat, rabbit, heck, even a parrot, yes. Hamsters… I’m tempted to say no, since I don’t really have much of a relationship with AdvoHam. But having to clean up after something, dealing with it making noise and pestering you for attention, paying enormous vet bills… that’s all good practice for the future.
8. Dangerous. Not the criminally dangerous sort. But a risk-taker is always welcome in my sedate life. I’m not one for risks myself, but I’ll happily join in on the fun. Fast cars, extreme sports, taking tables that have already been reserved with tissue packets – you lead, I’ll follow.
9. Must have a glamorous job! Hahahaha. Something that’s more interesting than “I work in an office and push papers around”. I don’t care if the papers you push around are worth millions. Tell me if your work excites you, makes you feel alive, motivates you to get up in the morning.
10. Passionate about his dreams. Because I am, and I need someone who understands why. If you can’t share your passion with the one you love – then what good is the relationship? They don’t have to be directly involved in it, as long as they really, truly understand the high that I get from a good day at work. And they have to demonstrate that burning passion for something they really enjoy, because I will not settle for someone who settles.
11. Neat, tidy, clean, capable of cleaning up after himself. Without being nagged. Trust me, the fulfilment of this criterion will save us both an enormous amount of emotional wear and tear.
12. Decisive. I like being the girl in a relationship and delegating decision-making, but if you pass up the chance to decide, I WILL make a decision. Fast. With little consideration for your feelings, because you said you were fine with anything. So, either be a man and step up, or shut your whining when I take over.
13. Must have seen and appreciated Monty Python. Because it’s clever and funny and humour is the mark of a sophisticate.