Bohemia Bunny

The Funnerology Principle

Monthly Archives: June 2010

Getting deep into it

I got back into watching Glee after a few months away. I was watching the episode “Hairography” and the scenarios in the episode just hit me hard, because I’ve been there. That’s not really something you expect from a lighthearted musical romp but I think the thematic writing for this episode was one of the better examples. All this talk of distractions makes for an interesting motif.

Anyway, it just got to me how much I could relate to what was going on, and that’s just weird. I never used to be such an emotional sap. Or maybe I’m just in a mood to be all “awww” today.

I have been Rachel, yearning for a boy she can’t have, and listening to bad advice on how to get him.

I have been Kurt, who does his best to defy gravity and reality but is forced to admit that they exist and he is beholden to their rules.

I have been Quinn, who gave someone a chance only to be let down.

I have even been Terri, who paradoxically sabotages her relationship even as she’s doing her best to hang on to her man.

And oh gahd, the romantic moments. Puck stealing a parenting book for Quinn. Schuester telling his wife he loves her after she buys him a car (I probably have my own reasons for finding this sweet). Puck and Quinn, hands touching hands.  Puck and Quinn singing “Papa Don’t Preach” together. Quinn and Finn walking down the school corridors together. Man if we could bottle up the sweetness, we’d solve the sugar shortage.

Sigh. I love Glee so much, I am officially a Gleek. It can do no wrong, I will happily overlook its flaws as long as it keeps delivering the emotional highs and lows to my brain, and show tunes I can dance to in the privacy of my (rather large) room. Lovelovelove!

Canyon

Memories like a river

Gouging a canyon over time

Eroding the whys and whats

Leaving me with the hows

How I felt when you sat me down

And explained that we were better as friends

And how, now

I cannot walk past that bench

Without feeling a twinge

Of memory rushing past me

But its flow has slowed

Now it is calm.

—————————————————

Speaking of rivers, I know one

Standing as a silent witness to how

Our friendship became something deeper

But rivers don’t stand, they run

And eventually our love

Ran its course.

—————————————————

As time flowed on,

I crossed more rivers

Streams of memories, rapids of recollection

But your river is peaceful.

It has not yet carved a gorge in my heart

Given time, perhaps it will.

Then again, with such a gentle flow

How can we expect it to leave anything

But the slightest of marks,

Visible only to those who are looking for it.

—————————————————

Your memories are turbulent,

Churning, dangerous,

Like white-water rapids.

Inexplicably, those rapids became a glacier

You froze me out of your life

And left a crevasse in my heart

So large, it will take

An endless supply of fast cars to fill.

I love them because I cannot have you.

—————————————————

I stand on the bank and gaze into the water.

I already know the shape this canyon will take.

It will undulate like the curves of a guitar.

But I wonder if my memories of you

Will be poisoned by betrayal,

Harsh words, broken hopes.

Or will we build a bridge between our hearts

And let our rivers flow together?

Life as a series of *beep*s

Beep

insists the alarm.

It demands that she abandon her dreams.

Beep

admits the door lock.

An electronic goodbye from the home she leaves behind.

Beep

goes the bus card reader.

Perfectly ordinary Adult passenger.

Beep

greets her at the office door.

One more day to face, like so many faced before.

Beep

says the awakened computer.

Her fingers yearn to touch something softer.

Beep

burps the cash register.

Eating is a function, not a pleasure.

Beep

nods her mobile.

Message sent, is there a friend on the other end?

Beep

calls the elevator.

Bringing her down and out of her misery.

Beep

signals the crossing.

She runs across, heedless, not looking.

Beep

marks the heart monitor.

They slow and merge into one final, long

Beeeeeeep.

Will

I will not let you

Draw me

Into the circle of your arms

Onto the paper of your heart.

I will not let you

Bleed me

Dry of love instead of blood

With the silver blade in your mouth.

I will not let you

Bind me

With invisible strings that tug

Achingly between our hearts.

I will not let you

Mark me

I am unremarkable

I am no one’s but my own.

I will not let you

Love me

I am too much, too wild, too fiery

Too dark, too full of mystery.

Until

You will not let me

Deny you

Defenses breached by your sheer

Will and personality.

Draw me

Bleed me

Bind me

Mark me

And I shall lie in the bed

That you have made.

And deny you

I will not, let me

Love you

With pure and simple honesty

Vulnerable as a heart can be.