Not all kids, just two. What’s wrong with two of my kids today?

One (Student C) has been through our motivational workshop and still delights in making doomed pronouncements for himself. “I’ll fail.” “I’ll get everything wrong.” “See, told you I wouldn’t get an A1.” He knows I hate these statements, he knows they go against our mindset of positive thinking, and he knows he can do better than his dire predictions, but still he delights in them. I feel like smacking him one. Or a dozen, whatever it takes to get the message across to him.

Today Students A and C did a practice test, and Student C was “so happy” to get an A2. As my boss was there, I challenged Student C to tell my boss to his face that he was happy with the A2. My boss was unflappable. He just gave his usual speech about “it’s your life, you screw it up”. I’m torn between correcting Student C every time he says this, because I want to change his mindset, and just ignoring it, because I know he’s just doing it for the attention. He does a lot of things for attention, but this is the one that irritates me the most. Also, he’s passive-agressive: While he won’t voice out his objections, he will just stubbornly persist in his erroneous ways until you give in out of exhaustion.

If I were allowed to smack them around, I so totally would. Except that physical punishment probably doesn’t mean anything to these kids. They have other weaknesses, and I shall find these and exploit them! Muahahahaha!

Student B was also present today, but not in my class. When I went into his classroom, he told me in the presence of his teacher and classmates that he had essentially been offered money to shut up and not spill a stupid, trivial secret. His school is really terrible, not academically but in what they do to their children. What kid uses money as his instrument of first resort? Kids who have too much, that’s what. And this breeds a very “money talks” mentality among them. All of them. Every single one of them. I sincerely doubt I could find one kid in that school who has the kind of moral fibre that Student A showed.

So I told Student B straight to his face, again in front of others, that he had no integrity. He happily agreed. *sigh*

Later I was forced to play my last card. I told him that his peer(s) considered him not the greatest role model. I asked him if he would do business with someone with no integrity, and how would he succeed anyway when he himself has none, yet intends to go into business? He has a great entrepreneurial mind, I’ll give him that, but his moral compass is seriously screwed up.

I told him that if he was already such an asshole at 15, what kind of asshole would he be at 25? He seemed to find this amusing, so I don’t know if the message got through. People like him have an awesome tendency for selective hearing and memory.

I shall probably just give up on both of them. As my bosses tell me, you can’t change all your students. If they don’t want to change, I’m not going to waste my time and energy on them when I have lots of other students who need guidance. My only priority is to boost their grades, since that’s what I’m being paid for. If they want the moral fibre freebie, it’s theirs for the taking, otherwise I can’t be bothered anymore.

And age is not always wise.

Today I had two students, and the interplay between them showed me the areas that I need to work on if I’m to deliver on my motto of “Better Grades, Better People”. One of them (Student B) makes his school out to be terribly notorious, and the other (Student A) sits and listens to tales of debauchery and extreme materialism.

I rode the bus back with Student A, and he showed me what lessons I could learn from “my kids”.

He reflected on the conversations we had during class today, and stated his opinion that extreme materialism, premarital sex and all the other scandalously juicy topics found in his classmate’s stories are nothing to be glorified. I know that seems obvious, but the way Student B was talking about it, you’d think debauchery was the new black. What was great was that Student A saw through all that, filtered it through his own moral values and came to the conclusion that he did not agree with his friend. One point to him for not giving in to peer pressure.

Throughout the bus ride, he told me why he had come to that conclusion. His upbringing had not involved massive sums of money, electronic toys and other such goods that children nowadays seem to take as their birthright. He said he had turned out fine, which translates to “I like myself the way I am”.

I was very pleased with his maturity and security in being himself. He told me he couldn’t be bothered with comparing cars, watches, phones or bags with his schoolmates, because he bought what he wanted, trends and coolness be damned. He rightly identified this obsession with luxury goods as just so much showing off, because we both very much doubted that teenagers know how to truly appreciate the craftsmanship that goes into a Rolex, even if they owned multiple genuine articles.

He is also very sure of himself, without needing to compare himself with others to see who’s superior. Insults rarely got to him, even if they were regarding his weight, hair or clothes – topics that would probably cause other kids to fight to first blood to defend their “honour”. He did not see the need to live by others’ standards, and I have to say that I admire him for that. Especially when I take into account that such taunts are purely out of malice, because there is certainly nothing wrong with his appearance. Not retaliating against untrue insults is definitely much harder than when the insults are rightly deserved.

Barely halfway through his teens, he already shows signs of becoming a man with whom one would be proud to associate.

So today, my student taught me something: Teenagers aren’t all stupid and shallow. Once in a while, you find a gem like my student, who is superbly level-headed. I won’t say he’s wise beyond his years, because that would imply that people aren’t usually this insightful at his age. Perhaps over the generations, humankind became so soft that you’re allowed to be stupid and selfish at 30 years old. But this is not our birthright, this is a regression. It shouldn’t have to be this way.

There is nothing to stop us – or our children – from attaining mental maturity at an age when some are still undergoing puberty. I will not make excuses for my kids any more. For too long, I have excused what society at large considers inexcusable behaviour, on account of their youth. No more. One student has shown me the path that all of them should be on. I would have been remiss if I did not at least try to set them on the right track.