Bohemia Bunny

Numbered Days

April 18th, 2008 by lynnylchan under Comments, My Life and School Life

My days in Eusoff Hall, and indeed in NUS, are coming to an end.

It’s so easy to point to my final semester and to graduation as some sort of watershed event, whereupon I suddenly become an adult, complete with adult burdens (thanks ah). But nobody grows up overnight. I’ve been on this road a long, long time. But I think I’ll keep that story for another time.

Now I’m closing the curtains on 4 years in Eusoff. Note I said Eusoff and not NUS. I will miss Eusoff tremendously, but I can’t say the same of the university. But yes, 8 semesters in Eusoff, 7 of them in the same room. There’s so many things to miss. The practical things like being near classes, near a bus terminal, near VivoCity, near 24-hour food outlets. These places will be in my backyard no more.

But there are still the intangible things. Like the sense of safety. In hall, you’re pretty much free to do as you like. But still not as free, and the pressure doesn’t just come from the authorities. Part of community living is, well, other people. Social norms keep you (mostly) in line. Drinking parties and midnight football viewings are ok. Doing drugs and stealing panties are not. There are still limits on things that matter.

Out there on your own, who’s going to make sure you’re okay? Who will take up your call for supper at 2am, who will watch football with you, whom can you count on to show up for your performances? It’s kinda lonely out there.

And I never quite realised the logistics that goes into planning one room. Just one. You move into hall, everything’s there. Bed, wardrobe, shelves, table. Then when you move into your own place, just deciding on furniture alone takes 2 days of online and on-site research. Then you have to make sure it all fits in, before you buy it and not after it’s assembled, obviously. After that, you still have to play interior decorator and rearrange stuff around to resemble at least a degree of normalcy. I mean, sure you can put your wardrobes in front of the window. But why, though?

And I’m so going to miss the Internet connection. Nothing can be as fast as institutional networks, and mine is free and unlimited and the fastest I’ve ever experienced. It’s a totally plug-and-play environment too - just bring your own LAN cable and your login ID. But on your own - I’ve been checking out broadband plans all of this week, and I’ve vacillated between home and mobile plans, StarHub and SingTel, cable and ADSL. How to decide? Well actually once again, logistics is the answer. There’s no cable point in my room, the only point is outside in the living room. So ADSL it is (for the time being). My gosh, how do people handle all these things, out there on their own?

I guess it’s just because my situation came in a more DIY format than others’. Most tenants just bring their luggage, make do with provided furniture, and cough up their share of the Internet bills. Their only major decision is finding a place. I, on the other hand, had to find a place, buy furniture, set up an Internet line, AND do this while also dealing with exams and Commencement. Go me.

But in all this frenzy of planning for the future, there’s a sense of loss for the past. It IS the end of adolescence. I left home a long time ago, but I was still dependent on my parents. Now even that is coming to an end, and it is kind of sad. Even getting married wouldn’t be such a large transition as this, since a large part of being married is relationship management and living with other people, neither of which is new to me.

Even the best-laid plans can’t assuage my anxiety - not just about broadband plans and furniture, but about the unknown that’s soon to come. New mothers sometimes get post-partum depression; do new graduates get post-convocation depression?