Bohemia Bunny

When you kill time, the blood is on your hands.

October 8th, 2007 by lynnylchan under Blogroll and My Life

Yes, the title is a clumsy mashup of 2 idioms. No matter, because it’s true. When you waste time, you have no one to blame but yourself. I should know, I’m a mass murderer of temporality.

Sitting in my room while the rain pours down outside, I ponder what I’ve done with my time since I effectively withdrew from active hall life. A sophomore asked me why I quit the band, and the simple reason is I just didn’t feel like it. I don’t actually spend any more time studying than I used to do, but I sure spend a lot of time doing what I want to do, instead of what my commitments dictate.

By doing a year-on-year comparison, I estimate I’ve reclaimed about 9 hours a week by cutting out hall activities. That’s not really a lot, but that’s a very conservative estimate based on: 3 hours of volunteer work, 1 hour of DnD work, 2 hours of choir practice and 3 hours of band practice.

The thing about cutting out all my commitments is that I am solely responsible for how I spend my time. If I don’t do my readings before class, I have only myself to blame, and I can’t justify it by saying I spent all evening at band or choir and thus had no time to study. Freedom is a double-edged sword, and the other side sometimes cuts deeper - because when you’re your own worst critic, disappointing yourself can be harder to swallow than letting others down.

A drawback of cutting out hall activities is that I also reduce opportunities for social contact. Days have gone by when I don’t speak to another human being beyond cursory greetings. Heck, I think my Harvest Moon farmer speaks to more people per game-day than I do in 24 real-time hours. Considering that he lives in a village of less than 30 people and I live in a hall with 500 residents, that’s a bit pathetic. I am a living geek stereotype: holed up in my room all day long with my electronic gadgets and not getting much sun.