Bohemia Bunny

Answers to inevitable questions

May 13th, 2007 by lynnylchan under My Life

I’m due to go home soon for a short break, during which I will probably be subjected to the scrutiny of various concerned relatives as to my studies, social life, personal life, hairstyle, complexion, weight… the list goes on. To pre-empt all that, I should just print out an FAQ and hand it out when I go visiting or something.

1. How long will you be here? Long enough to have my fill of stupid questions. Okay okay, till Monday.
2. Aren’t you on your annual 3-month vacation? Yes, but I’d rather rot in the comfort of my dorm room with superfast broadband and no curfew as well as easy access to public transport. Plus I found a job.
3. What job? Sales promoter at IT fair.
4. Exams finished already? Yes, and results will be out at the end of the month. Was that going to be your next question?
5. So when are you graduating? This time next year, barring unforeseen circumstances such as being maimed by an axe-wielding berserker, or a sudden surge in global temperature leading to the melting of the ice caps which subsequently submerges the entire island of Singapore.
6. Then you’ll be working in Singapore? *through gritted teeth* Yes.
7. The pay is good there, isn’t it? If you have the right job. I don’t think being a barista at Starbucks is a path to the big time, the company’s name notwithstanding.
8. Why are you so thin? Genetics from my father’s side, stress, and it’s also a bias on your part because you secretly want me to feel bad, eat more and get fat. Schadenfreude, and gesundheit.
9. Are you growing your hair long again? No, I just can’t afford a decent stylist.
10. You should leave your hair long and eat more, you know. Boys don’t like skinny, short-haired girls. I don’t like boys like that, then.
11. When are you going to get a boyfriend? I’m still waiting for the right girl.
12. I think you mean boy. No, I mean girl, since I can’t find a boy who likes skinny, short-haired girls.

I hope a dozen of the best should be able to shut them up sufficiently and cover most bases. I don’t want to cover all - that would include really random things like “Did you watch football last night?” and “Which part of the chicken do you want?”, and some interaction wouldn’t hurt. Wouldn’t hurt me, that is. No guarantees that they won’t be muttering their way home about how uppity I’ve become since I started schooling in Singapore.