Being strong, holding on

April 18th, 2007 by lynn under My Life

On a whim, I opened Media Player (yes, I am a Microsoft stool, I won’t use iTunes or all that stuff) and clicked on Daughtry’s “It’s Not Over”. And suddenly the lyrics became very, very apt.

I’ve just wasted 2 days of my reading week, and am behind on revisions. I can’t delay reading, because my schedule is really tight, so I’m left with the hope that whatever I can remember from studying for the quizzes will come in handy. I guess continual assessment is a good thing after all. Among all my modules, this is the only one where I can claim to at least have touched all the readings, as opposed to the others where unread PDF files of research papers taunt me on the screen.

Back to the lyrics of Daughtry’s song: It’s not over, I’ll try to do it right this time around. Yeah, after the screwup that was Semester 1, I’m not going to be a fool the second time around. I’ve figured out how to tackle the modules taken by the same lecturer who gave me a B- last semester. I suppose it wasn’t his fault - I just didn’t meet expectations. But I will this time around, because he made his expectations very clear and I’m sure I can meet them.

Don’t get caught up in yourself. No more gaming, no more giving in to little whims - I need to learn self-denial and delayed gratification. I had huge helpings of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream today, both from Free Cone Day and my block supper, so food cravings aren’t a problem. Now I just need to focus!

My life with you means everything, so I won’t give up that easily. If there’s something that defines who I am, right now, above all else, that word is unfortunately “scholar”. Not in the academic sense, but in the financial sense. Money’s a huge incentive, and it’s the reason why I work hard and worry about my grades when I could just coast through on minimal effort. That financial incentive is my number one priority right now, as it should always have been. Self-discovery can go take a back seat till the holidays arrive.

Let’s make this something good.