Bohemia Bunny

Hellobimbo/ Contrition

November 15th, 2006 by lynnylchan under School Life

I was going to make this a frivolous post and put pictures from today, but that was before I got back my quiz and term paper.

I bombed. For 50% of the module grade, I bombed. I performed barely above average for the quiz, and below average for the term paper. Even worse, I was actually supposed to get extra credit for the term paper because I handed it in early, so imagine how much worse my grade would have been if I’d asked for an extension.

It’s not just the grade that hurts. It’s the knowledge that my writing skills have deteriorated to the point of mediocrity. None of my term papers this semester have fared better than a B+, they’re all hovering in the B range. That really hurt me to the bone. How can I go from writing a near-perfect essay last semester, to churning out this rubbish?

My thinking and critical skills have also apparently been flushed down the drain. One term paper came back with the comment “incoherent”. Me, incoherent? My writing, incoherent? Major blow to self-concept, straight ahead! Oh wait, here’s more! “How is this relevant?” Gaaah! I know I’m irrelevant, but now it’s infected the realm of my academia as well. I always thought I could separate the two. Unfortunately, it seems that the bimbo I am, outside of school hours, has staged a hostile coup over my quiet nerdy school self.

Shit.

I have less than 2 weeks in which to turn my life around and bail out of this sinking ship, otherwise it’s goodbye Honours and hello, early graduation. I refuse! I’ve not yet had my fill of collegiate life! I have things to do, people to meet, places to go, student discounts to take advantage of! I’m not ready…

Ah, enough ranting. Pictures:

You have to see the large one for details of my pretty eyelashes. Yay.

As my darling ’sister’ Tiffany would say, “Lynn! You’re so stripey!”

Oh, and on the way back to my room, I came to the realisation that I write my best material when I’m down. So should I follow the great and noble tradition of Byron and Plath, and become a depressed literary genius? I should try that, just in case. I can never think straight when I’m happy, anyway.

Come on, let’s pile on the sadness, disappointment and guilt! Goodbye Second Upper! Goodbye Dean’s List, I hardly knew ye. In fact I never knew ye. Hello Temptation, my old friend, and hi to your attendants Cookies, Youtube and Shopping. And Guilt, the grande dame of negative emotions. Yes, it’s all my fault. Yes, I’ve let everyone down. Yes, I am a pathetic excuse for a human being. No, I don’t deserve to live anymore. And yet by grace, I do.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.