Bohemia Bunny

It’s a lonely week.

October 13th, 2006 by lynnylchan under Uncategorized

Monday: Pageant Interviews

Tuesday: Charity Movie Screening

Wednesday: JCRC Investiture Dinner

Thursday: Pilates and MELA Concert

Every day thus far this week, I’ve had enforced interaction with more people than I usually have in a whole month. Interviewing pageant nominees requires me to be at least a bit tactful and friendly in trying to understand their personalities. The movie screening put me in a movie theatre with what seemed like 200 other Eusoffians, and in close proximity with one or two so I had no choice but to interact, otherwise it’d have been a long ride home. JCRC dinner means one has to socialise with the people at one’s table, or risk being seen as aloof. Especially if those people are acquaintances and colleagues, and not just “hall people”. At the concert, and a meeting after that, more socialising since these people are my friends and I didn’t want to be a wallflower.

I’ve said so many compliments, and hi-and-byes and silly little comments this week. I think the collective term for them is “small talk”. It’s tiring. And I feel lonely, immutably lonely, despite the funny jokes and sarcastic wit I throw about. How is this possible? The more I mix around, the sadder and more alone I feel.

I’m like a little cookie with all the sprinkles and icing on the surface but a big empty air pocket in the middle, that no one can see until the cookie crumbles and falls apart.