You know those people who stand right at the door of the MRT, who block your way OUT of the train, and push their way in? We have to get back at them. By pushing back.
I was getting off at Harbourfront, which is the last stop for the North East Line. As I stood at the door, waiting for it to open, I looked at the kiasu people gathering outside, all eager to leap onto the train. The one right opposite me on the other side of the doors was a big-sized boy holding a rugby ball.
“Okay, buddy,” snarled my inner gangster. “You wanna fight? I’ll give you a fight!”
As the doors opened, I pushed my way out. Usually I’d angle my body and try to squeeze in between, but not today. You don’t deserve it, you kiasu scumbags. You want to block my way out, then I’ll jolly well push you out of the way. I scored a few good hits, too. My conscience rebelled at the thought of being anything less than civil to other people, but conscience lost in the face of righteous anger. Don’t bloody block my way and I won’t bloody push you.
In fact, as I jostled them aside, they were the ones apologizing. Yes, that’s right! How about you give more than lip service next time, and actually move aside? I mean, come on! This is the terminus! The train starts out empty, the seats start out empty, and there aren’t many commuters so you can stop worrying that you won’t get a seat! Honestly. Now, time to play Devil’s Advocate.
Aunty “I’m-Older-So-You-Shouldn’t-Push-Me” says, “Si gin nah! (Bad child) I’m so old and you still dare to push me! You know or not if I don’t faster-faster get on the train then I no place to sit!”
My reply: So old, all the more reason you shouldn’t be standing near the doors. Dangerous hor, later you fall into the gap how? Also, since you so old, get on the train already, then go and scold the other young people to give up their seats for you. If they don’t, then you can bemoan the state of Singapore society loudly until one of them gets so irritated they give up.
Ms “Cast Not the First Stone” says, “Do you mean to say that you have never blocked the MRT doors?”
My reply: Yes. I respect those yellow lines and what they stand for, because I know that it’s only logical to make way for those alighting, so that the train will be emptier and thus have more space for me. It’s not a matter of being a sheep. I believe those yellow lines serve a good purpose, if only people would pay attention to them instead of literally treading them underfoot.
Mr “I don’t understand the laws of physics” says, “I have to faster faster push my way through so that I can get on the train during rush hour! Otherwise there won’t be space for me on the train and I’ll have to wait 5 minutes for the next one!”
My reply: Maybe if you let us alighting passengers get OFF the train, there’d be more space for you to get ON it. And no, compression only works up to a certain point, since 2 objects can’t occupy the same space at the same time.
So the next time I’m on the MRT and there are these people blocking my way out, I don’t care any more. If you’re stupid enough to stand in my way, I shall be heartless enough to push you out of it. Fair? Fair.