Lord Moldy Wart’s Bad Day

February 22nd, 2006 by lynnylchan under Humour

Lord Moldy Wart was not happy.

He was suffering mental and physical pain.

The skin off his Achilles tendon had been rubbed raw, and was now oozing pus. He hadn’t realized it had reached such a yucky state until he tried to peel off his socks and realized they were stuck. He tried not to whine in pain as he tried to separate sock from skin.

He had to do performance evaluations for all his minions, and it was a real pain in his bony butt.

Some of his minions were good, but not in a good way. And some of his minions were bad, but not in a bad way. Some were just middlin’, and Lord Moldy Wart’s middle was growling with hunger. But he didn’t want to eat his minions, mostly because he believed in treating his employees well, and anyway, if he started eating them, his staff turnover would be at insane levels.

Lord Moldy Wart also had to come up with a plan for causing pain and suffering, and so far all he had come up with was “nails on blackboards” and even then he wasn’t sure it would work, because it seemed that people everywhere were wearing tiny white things in their ears and he doubted that the screeching of nails on blackboards would bother them very much, since these tiny white things were already transmitting a lot of screeching.

Lord Moldy Wart laid his head down on his desk, and heaved a great sigh. “If only I had studied harder,” he thought. “I could have joined the civil service and become a bureaucrat instead. Just as evil, only legal.”