Monthly Archive
Browsing entries posted on October 2005
Random Wednesday observations
- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are ‘expecting’. Like, whoo-hoo! Proof that the fella isn’t gay after all! And that he has viable sperm!
*shudders*. That was the scariest news all week. Even scarier than the news about super-resistant Aedes mosquitoes. I mean like, gosh, do we really need more celebrity children in this world? We just suffered through the Britney-baby saga, and now we have to put up with the child of a potty Scientologist and a lightweight B-lister? (Come on, she was so low profile before she got together with him.) I’d much rather read about Brangelina, thank you. At least the kids are normal, and I actually have some degree of respect for Angelina Jolie both as an actress and a person.
- I hate girls. I am a female misogynist. Not as much of a cognitive dissonance as you might think it is, I’ve heard of homophobic gays. But yes, I pretty much hate most girls. If they wear makeup and skimpy clothes, I accuse them of trying too hard. If they slum around in T-shirts and bermudas, I call them sloppy aunties. Of course they can’t win with me. Hate is irrational.
- Realised today that I have not been adhering to my “non-animal-tested” criterion when it comes to my cosmetics. No worries though, I am looking at The Natural Source’s range of products which, I am assured, did not involve lab animals. I must check out my shampoo and body washes next. I take animal testing seriously, because it’s one of the easiest things to avoid and hence make myself feel better about being environmentally-friendly (when actually I’m one of the biggest polluters around).
- Guys tend to talk to me more when I’m wearing a tight, sleeveless top than when I’m wearing a T shirt.
- I cannot survive on less than 7 hours’ continuous sleep.
- Most of the time, I’m living a lie. I never say I’m Malaysian if I can help it. I let them assume I’m Singaporean, just like them. I know they say they don’t discriminate, but we all know that deep down inside, you still think we’re a dirty, corrupt country that favours the Malays. As though it were a crime to give priority to the ‘native’ race. When will you all understand - most of us don’t give a rat’s ass about the quota system? Stop trying to engage me in conversation about how much better life here in Singapore must be, compared to dirty, smelly Kuala Lumpur. Because I will shock you by replying how much shittier life is here, for all its cosmetic superiority.
I pretend I’m not Malaysian because, secretly, I feel sorry for you lot.
Really weird stories
I’m slowly making my way through the collection of the stories by the Brothers Grimm. After a while, you’ll kind of notice a trend among them, what with the princesses and profusion of 3-child families and sorcery. Go have a read through.
Once in a while, though, you find perfectly strange and slightly nonsensical stories. Such as these:
1: Child eats lunch with snake every day. One day mother hears child talking to the snake, comes out and beats the poor reptile dead. Child follows in grief.
2: Snake crawls out of wall and brings a treasure to a child, then goes back into hole. Child picks up treasure. Snake comes back out and, upon seeing that the treasure is no longer where it was, starts banging head against wall.
3: Snake makes a sound like Liang Po Po: “huu huu huu”. Child asks snake if it has seen her sister. Snake says no. “Huu huu huu”-ing continues.
Like, wtf? Is there supposed to be any sense to these stories? Well, I suppose the first one made a bit of sense, although it was rather far-fetched. Don’t kill your child’s mealtime companions. The second one just seems gratuitious. Chey, take away the treasure only mah, must be so dramatic meh? Until bang head want to die liddat. Go and bite the child lar! And the third one pretty much speaks for itself…
Maybe you have to know the Old German context from which this tales came, in order to make any sense out of them. Otherwise… they’re just a big fat “Huh?”.
NUS no seigatsu monogatari
i.e. A story of NUS life
Was buying lunch today from Olive Cove, the salad and sandwich bar at the Arts Canteen. The auntie must have been in a particularly good mood.
She said: Pink suits you, dear.
Me: Thank you.
She: For me, I can’t wear gray. Looks terrible. Aiya, old already. I like red, black.
For the record, I was wearing a pink t shirt, cream skirt and carrying my giant pink bag (which has probably entered NUS legend for being so in-your-face). Oh, and I had a potato salad because today is Friday.
Notes from lecture:
One of the topics that came up was AIDS, and the lecturer being a bit old-fashioned and morally upright (no, really), said some things that rubbed me the wrong way. Firstly though, I’d like to clarify that I do like this lecturer a lot, generally he’s quite ok, but the generation gap and my more libertine views get in the way.
“AIDS seems to affect certain members of the population… young people like you all, those in the entertainment industry, actors, actresses, singers…”
Hello sir. Firstly, AIDS hits everyone. The housewife who was infected by a philandering husband. The African child whose mother was infected. Look me again in the face and tell me about ‘certain members of the population’.
Second, only young people get AIDS because only the young are having sex. You don’t see 70-year-old grannies getting AIDS, because if they are indeed having sex, they’re doing it with their husbands, not gigolos from the seedy district where there are no health checks. And AIDS being a recent occurrence, spreading from the monkeys, to San Francisco where I believe it was first detected, it’s only become a real problem in the last decade. Far too late for senior citizens (and their middle-aged offspring) to get infected.
Third, yes, it seems that many in the entertainment industry do succumb to AIDS - Freddie Mercury being one example. But taken in the context of their lifestyle - rampant unprotected sex and what not - it doesn’t surprise me. I hope that by ‘entertainment’ industry, you didn’t mean ‘homosexual community’, because that would REALLY piss me off. Back to the entertainers, their higher profile means that their disease is more publicized. So of course lar you think there’s a lot of them.
It was the implied jibe against the homosexuals that got me. Yes I know it first surfaced among the gays of San Francisco, but it’s not as though they loosed an evil onto the world, right? What about SARS and bird flu and Japanese encephalitis? Let’s yell at the wildlife-eating Chinese, the chicken farmers of Vietnam and the pig farmers of Malaysia. Don’t confuse your dislike of their lifestyle with your perception that they are at fault. It would have infected someone sooner or later anyway, I think. The gays just got in the crossfire.
On why the retail industry loves Singaporean girls:
Spend a few hours sitting at a high-traffic area and look at the amount of fashion victimisation on parade. (Yes, I too am one of them.) Look at the profusion of boho skirts and beaded accessories. When a trend hits Singapore, every Mary Kate and Ashley in the Arts faculty must follow it. For them, it’s all about the clothes. The halters and tubes that testify to their ‘free-spiritedness’ and ’sexiness’. Whatever. Just that in some cases, they let the clothes wear them, instead of them wearing the clothes. Hello, is there an identity underneath that fashionable exterior?
The makeup industry loves them too. You thought Xiaxue is excessive? The whole faculty teems with her like-minded sisters. It’s getting so you can’t tell one blonde-haired, flouncy-skirted, makeup-mask-wearing girl from another. They all meld into one giant entity (like Agagooga’s SACSALs) after a while. Some of these girls really need to understand the concept of ‘less is more’ with regard to their makeup. Yes, I know that colours and all that are in, and if you don’t wear them in your youth, you won’t have another chance. But is it necessary to pile so much of that stuff on, that not a single dot of real skin can be seen? The point is to bring attention to your features. You know, the ones God (or a plastic surgeon) gave you? Not to show everyone how many colours of the rainbow you can fit on your face. As with the clothes, wear the makeup, don’t let it wear you.
If I had the power of Force Choke and the ability to get away with murder, I’d be able to stop griping about Arts fashion after a while. Cos all the annoyances will be mysteriously dead. Muahahaha.
And finally, overheard (and seen) at bazaar:
Guy carrying Crumpler bag and Apple notebook bag enters my view. Within 10 seconds, I am able to identify him as a Mac whore. Like hello, can’t you carry your laptop inside your Crumpler? I’m sure it’s small enough to fit. Oh sorry, I didn’t realise - if you carry it inside, no one is going to know that you use an APPLE! And thus you’re different from us Wintel morons! As further evidence, he takes out his iPod from the little pouch on the Crumpler’s strap. Oh hooray for you! Aren’t you the Maccie!
Now there are 3 characteristics of an apple user: Rich, intelligent, gay.
I don’t know about intelligence, but I’d assume he’s rich, because he was exuding that superior air that comes from having too much money. And as for gay: my vote is yes. As proof, a quote:
“Who’s the girl in our year who wears a neck brace? Like, omigod, it SO totally doesn’t go with her outfit! Can you ee-ma-gine wearing a neck brace? Ew!”
Hey dude. I don’t think neck braces come in various fabrics and colours, unless you’re Madonna. And I’m sure she doesn’t want to wear a neck brace. Your talking that way about the unfortunate soul just proves your superficiality. Ugh. I’m ok with gays, and maybe even with the effeminate ones as long as they’re not too pretentious. But if you’re a straight guy, then at least act like one. SNAGs are soooo passe. *smirk*
One more: Guy spotted carrying his girlfriend’s fuchsia rattan handbag. So wrong on so many levels.
1. Your girlfriend has hands. Let her carry it herself.
2. It’s fuchsia. Not a guy colour.
3. It’s rattan. Not a guy material (not anymore anyway).
I mean, if the gf handed it to him to hold for a moment, while she looked at something, I can understand that. But they’re freakin’ just walking around! She can jolly well carry her own bag, I am sure. Either she’s selfish or enjoys playing damsel-in-distress.
Hey, don’t look at me. I don’t let others carry my bag. Firstly, I use shoulder bags, so I always have my hands free. Secondly, when shopping, I take it into the dressing room with me. (Obviously.) So there is no reason why the bf should be carrying it for me. As a general rule, guys should not be carrying women’s handbags.
In conclusion: The guy is pussy-whipped. Why would any girl DO that to her man?
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