The Singapore blogosphere is currently full of entries about tremors felt in apartment blocks, particularly in the eastern part of the island. I can’t join in, because I live in the west and I felt nothing, nada, zip. The closest we came to evacuating was for the fire drill yesterday, which we’re required to have every semester just in case some idiot doesn’t dispose of his cigarette butt properly and starts a fire. Or in case someone plugs 5 electrical appliances into 1 socket and it blows a fuse. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised, having seen the kind of damage hostelites can wreak on a humble microwave oven.

I was informed, however, that my old hostel had to be evacuated. I lived in this hostel during my junior college days and I absolutely loved it there, it was as close as I could ever get to experiencing boarding school life, Enid Blyton style. We were located right next to the sea, just like in the Malory Towers series where they were on a cliff and had a natural pool. We didn’t have a pool, of course, and even the seashore wasn’t natural (it’s reclaimed land), but at least we had a lovely location with the sea breeze blowing all the time.

Anyway, they must have felt the tremors quite strongly due to their location in the east. The blocks are 11 storeys high, so they definitely had to evacuate. And these aren’t regular students, mind you. They are foreign scholars, handpicked by the government, and the handful of local students who live there are top sportspeople and club presidents. So of course the hostel authorities are anxious to keep them safe before the Ministry of Education berates them for losing bright young minds. And those of you who were hoping that the building would at least fall on some China students and eliminate the competition – don’t so bad, can? Skali squash some Indonesians and Malaysians also. Then there’ll be a nice diplomatic row going on.

Politics aside, I miss that old hostel. It’s a far cry from Yousucks, it’s new and modern-looking instead of rustic. Boys and girls lived in different blocks, and no way could we sneak into the other block because of the security outpost right at the doors. The food wasn’t fantastic, but it was okay, and the caterers were nice people who remembered if you didn’t take beef. We used to play bridge in the dining hall, because that was the only place boys and girls were allowed to mix with each other. And during exam time, the corner tables would be occupied by couples studying together. Yes, we had couples too, although they were the exception.

I miss those days. Sometimes I long for the innocent times, and the walks on the beach, and I miss going up to the 11th floor to take in the panoramic view of the sea with the tankers.

For 6 months that place was home.

Disclaimer: I like China scholars.
I am also very fond of Asean scholars.
I am not trying to make fun of the earthquake. It’s not funny. We’re currently praying for news of a hostelite’s family. His home village is on the island of Nias where the epicentre hit. I may be frivolous but I’m not heartless.

If you are searching for information on: Eusoff, Temasek, Kent Ridge, Sheares, Raffles, King Edward VII – you’re in the right place!

The next up for inspection: Ken Rich Hall!

A little bit of history:
Another hall that didn’t exist until the Kent Ridge campus opened, they were however one of the first halls on campus (probably the first). They opened back in 1980 along with the new campus, because there had to be some on-campus accommodation for the students. Initially called KEKR, they thankfully evaded being called Lee Kong Chian Hall, and in 1985 were christened with their current moniker and given a shiny new crest. Like TMS, it is named after a place instead of a person. The hall is currently in its second incarnation near the business school, its previous buildings have either been reclaimed under a different name, or demolished altogether. I don’t know because I wasn’t there when it happened.

Ken Rich is twins with BSers Hall, because they have the same layout and same room size.

ROOMS:
The rooms are all single rooms, but they seem to be smaller than the ones at Yousucks. They have lovely large aluminium windows instead of the louvred kind in other halls, and rooftop gardens which are maintained by residents. There are 7 storeys in each block, if I’m not wrong. Each floor is divided into 2 parts, with the lift lobby in the centre. The corridors are narrow and dim as rooms are on both sides, so not much natural light gets in. This may actually be an advantage if you want to sneak your lover in without revealing their identity. Here‘s a link to a resident’s pictures of his rooms.

Their rooftop gardens really deserve a special mention. Care has been taken to really maintain them, with some having swings hung from the trellises. Depending on whether the 7th floor is inhabited by males or females, the garden can be very cutesy or cool, usually with an overriding theme to the decoration.

FACILITIES: Ken Rich Hall has a road serving it that leads directly to the main road where the public buses are. This makes it convenient for those taking public transport, as the bus stop is nearby and buses are aplenty, taking one to Orchard, Suntec and other places of undergraduate interest. The hall itself has multipurpose courts and an air-conditioned hall complete with stage. I took my exams there, it was cool and peaceful. The courtyards are nicely landscaped, and if you look out of a room window you can pretend you live in a condominium complex. I personally love the avant-garde design of the hall, it’s the angular metallic look. Very modern.

LOCATION: Located directly opposite the Business school, Ken Rich lacks a shuttle bus service that goes directly from hall to the Science faculty. You’ll have to walk out to the Business bus stop for this bus. Ken Rich and BSers are served by a new shuttle bus service that brings them to the Arts faculty and makes a loop near Engin. It’s a long and steep uphill walk to the Arts faculty from Ken Rich, but maybe you can just incorporate it into your fitness regimen. Ken Rich’s location at one of the more remote ends of the campus means that it’s more peaceful and quiet there, as compared to Yousucks which is near a bus terminal as well as shops outside.

FOOD: They seem to eat well at Ken Rich. It is in direct competition with Yousucks for ‘Best Supper’. While Yousucks people patronise the 24-hour stalls, Ken Rich has a mini version in their own dining hall which opens until 1 am or thereabouts. Definitely an innovative idea, but my hat goes off to whoever convinced the caterer to provide this service in the first place. The Business canteen is also nearby, for those who like to buy lunch from the canteens. I’ll try the food at Business someday, because I’m bored with Arts canteen food (but never bored with the people).

PEOPLE: An up-and-coming sports hall, it is catching up with Yousucks and TMS in sporting ability. Ken Rich came in 3rd for the Inter-Hall games, and delivered a few stinging defeats to the other teams. Expect many sportspeople, and Law students who are attracted by the proximity and new building. Ken Rich is a very ‘musical’ hall, they love singing, dancing, playing music and staging hall productions. Word is their hall production is on par with the Yousucks one. This hall seems to only want passionate people, because they seem so intense about everything. I haven’t yet met a Ken Richie who isn’t seriously involved with something, be it culture, committees or sports. They have a very attractive hall t-shirt too, which explains why they wear it so proudly. Their colours of navy and yellow may appeal to all the ACS boys out there (I told you this hall is full of rich kids).

POTENTIAL: Quite a number of good lookers who are heavily involved in cultural activities. Your best bet would be to get involved in choir, a cappella or band, because these seem to have a high concentration of cool people. Not all the people are ‘cool’, of course, but there are some who stand out. Good luck to you in trying to hook them. Their sportsmen seem pretty okay, making it to semi-finals on a regular basis (so girls can see them in action for a longer period). The strong hall spirit probably helps bring people together as well, what with emotions running high and all that. Thank goodness they haven’t yet declared it anathema to date someone from another hall, because my boyfriend is applying to Ken Rich next semester.

NASTY HISTORIES: Another hall which seems to have a pretty clean reputation. Probably all the expectations of being the ‘first on campus’ kept the residents in line. Its history is long enough that any alumni couples should be married and dealing with adolescents by now. I do wonder what goes on in the rooftop gardens after dark, and if it’s anything like Sky Garden at Suntec City (a famous Singaporean make-out spot).

For some info about Ken Rich hall life, visit him. Check out the rest of his blog too; it makes for a really amusing and entertaining read.

To be continued.

p/s: Those who requested photos of the buildings can access the Noose website, which has external shots. There are also links to the hall websites themselves which will have more detailed pictures. They’re quite stingy with pictures of the actual rooms, which was a gripe I had with the websites as well.

If you are searching for information on: Eusoff, Temasek, Kent Ridge, Sheares, Raffles, King Edward VII – you’re in the right place!

The next up for inspection: TMS Hall!

A little bit of history:
Hah! Apparently TMS only came into being when Noose moved to the Kent Ridge campus. So unlike Yousucks, it doesn’t have a history dating back generations. But I guess its name carries enough clout that it doesn’t need a history.

TMS is twins with Yousucks Hall, because they have the same layout and same room size.

ROOMS: Room size is the same as Yousucks, largest on campus, etc etc. Where it differs from its twin is in the facade. While Yousucks has a lovely red-brick facade (and red tiles and red roofs), TMS has boring white walls and grey doors. I personally think it looks like a prison, because the colours are so utilitarian. You can pretend it’s cool and minimalist – whatever floats your boat. Shoe racks are provided outside the door of each room – they’re metal and bolted to the wall. Yousucks doesn’t have shoe racks, the residents buy their own. For some odd reason, TMS residents aren’t allowed to stick things (posters, doortags, signs) on the wall outside their room. So while Yousucks’ walls are covered in doortags that proclaim one’s membership in a committee, TMS residents have to be content with sticking it on their door. I feel it’s a bad idea to limit the space because cheerful, colourful doortags would really liven up the atmosphere. But alas, due to the fact that their walls are painted, such decorations are deemed harmful to the paintwork.

FACILITIES: TMS residents must either walk out on the campus roads, or take the ‘drain-way’ to the bus terminal. It’s a bit precarious, walking beside the monsoon drain, because it’s very narrow at some parts. But that doesn’t stop them from using it all the time to get to the 24-hour food stalls. It just means that they walk past Yousucks, chattering at 1 am in the morning. If I had a Super Soaker and the guts to use it, I could start an Inter-Hall war.

TMS has rooftop spaces, whereas Yousucks has none. The reason for this is that the Resident Fellows (RFs) of Yousucks (who are lecturers and professors) live in little houses attached to the hostel building. These little houses are really charming, they have brown picket fences and a yard. They really look like cottages, only that they’re incongrously attached to a student residence. And as befitting cottages, they have normal sloping, tiled roofs. TMS RFs, however, live in what I can only describe as apartments, also attached to the main building. No picket fence, and no sloping roof. In fact, as the RF apartments are on the ground floor, the roof of the RF’s house becomes an open area for the people upstairs. Hence TMS has rooftop spaces, only it’s the students using the RF’s rooftop. I’m not entirely sure about the viability of this arrangement. For the sake of the RF’s sanity, I hope they have rules regulating the usage of this space. I know I wouldn’t like excited undergraduates jumping on my roof in the middle of the night.

LOCATION: TMS is located near the Arts faculty and Law faculty. It’s nearer to the Law faculty than to the rest of the Arts faculty, as it’s located directly opposite the Guild House which is the landmark to turn in to the Law faculty. It’s probably not a good idea to walk to Engineering from TMS, but I wouldn’t pretend to know what’s good for you. Shuttle bus services are available, as usual.

FOOD: I have no idea how good the caterer is, but their residents don’t look emaciated so it’s probably all right. Food stalls are outside but to get there, TMS people must first traverse the enemy territory of Yousucks. Some of them bravely enter the Yousucks corridors as it’s easier to walk through, but the gauntlet of hostile looks are sure to cow the faint-hearted. And Yousucks isn’t hostile to them because of rivalry, it’s hostile because TMS residents that walk through the corridors usually walk in a large and noisy group. How would you like it if a bunch of uninvited guests stomped through your house while you were trying to study, eh?

PEOPLE: Personally, I haven’t seen anyone worth noticing, but I don’t usually bother to look very hard. TMS is noted for its sporting prowess, so girls who love basketballers, soccer players and swimmers will find this a happy hunting ground. Boys aren’t excluded, although Yousucks, and not TMS, is the defending female champion, if that sort of thing matters to you. The usual Arts people are around, but I suspect TMS may actually have more Engin students because the place is just way too quiet at night. I wouldn’t be surprised to find Law people there as well, because of the proximity to the faculty.

POTENTIAL: Well, seeing how there’s a Yousucks boy dating a TMS girl, I’d say inter-hall relationships are also quite common. In fact, for them it’s quite a plum deal. They’re near enough to visit any time they like, but still maintain their independence by living in different halls. And the girl always comes over to discuss homework with others from her faculty. (No, really doing homework this time.) So if you find the people in your hall not to your liking, find out who among your coursemates lives nearby. What’s more, they may have better-looking people than your own hall.

NASTY HISTORIES: I haven’t heard any stories, which is quite sad. Perhaps the residents just like to keep things hush-hush. Certainly everything looks very prim and proper. No male shoes outside female rooms and suchlike. Perhaps the clean white walls encourage purity of the mind and heart. Certainly they don’t seem to have a reputation for, er, extracurricular activities.

Since I have no dirt to dish on them, I’ll just expound at length about their ‘culture’. I don’t know what their hall creed is, I don’t know what their cheer is, all I know is that somehow they wrested the ‘Best Float’ prize from the Yousucks Rag team. And that they beat Yousucks in the Inter-Hall games, again. So if you’re into sports, or perhaps building floats out of recycled materials, you might like to consider them. Just remember that I warned you about the decorating scheme.

To be continued.

p/s: I want to take the opportunity to apologise to those who have detected a paucity of gossip in the later parts. Yousucks was very comprehensive because I live there. But as I lack a true gossip network in other halls, it is hard to find truly juicy stuff. Also most of the content from the Yousucks post is applicable to other halls and I dislike repeating myself.

If you are searching for information on: Eusoff, Temasek, Kent Ridge, Sheares, Raffles, King Edward VII – you’re in the right place!

The first up for inspection: YOUSUCKS HALL!

A little bit of history:
Yousucks Hall is descended from Yousucks College, which was the women-only college at the old Bukit Timah campus. In 1984 male residents were admitted for the first time (hooray) and in 1987, Yousucks College shifted to the Kent Ridge campus where its legacy continues today as Yousucks Hall. Not only do they admit males, they go so far as to have a mixed floor – boys and girls on the same floor. I know because I live on that floor. Usually the floors are sex-segregated.

Yousucks is twins with TMS Hall, because they have the same layout and same room size.

ROOMS:
Yousucks (and its twin) reputedly have the largest rooms on campus. The double rooms are huge, with a generous amount of floorspace between the bed and desk. I think you can fit in another single mattress there (in case you have guests staying over). Can comfortably fit another 5 people on the floor if you are having a little party – and that’s just your side of the room. If you’re good friends with your roommate (like the Vietnamese girls down the hall) you could have 10 people over. Can have orgy already. (But must take turns using the beds I suppose. I wouldn’t know, never been invited to an orgy.)
Closet space is so-so, but there’s plenty of room under the bed and desk where you can put boxes. Oh, if you’re one of those people whose desk is a mess, the double rooms have twice the deskspace of the single rooms. More space for your junk.
“I’m so not taking a double room!” I hear you say. Good choice. Despite the smaller size of the single rooms, they are still among the largest on campus. And of course, when it’s just you and your beloved, who needs that much space anyway? Single rooms have the desk and bed on opposite sides of the room. You can still put in another mattress if you turn the bed 90 degrees, creating a giant space similar to the one in the double rooms. What you do with that space is your business.

FACILITIES: Kent Ridge bus terminal is right next to Yousucks. It’s part of the reason why I chose it, because bus service 10 will take me to town, to church and to the East. There’s also bus service 200 to take you to Holland Village, 33 to take you to IKEA (our furnisher of choice) and 151 to take you to Bukit Timah. How fun is that! West Coast Park is nearby (I hear the McDonalds’ there is open 24 hours).

LOCATION: Yousucks is located near the Arts faculty and Law faculty. Business is a longer walk away, and you can walk to Engineering if you enjoy long uphill walks. And if you want to walk to Science… well… I think you might just be the mad scientist we’re looking for. What do you think the shuttle bus service is for, eh?

FOOD: The caterer is ok, portions are generous (too generous for me) and they have a little side business selling drinks. The famous Fong Seng nasi lemak stall is right outside. Yousucks is absolutely the nearest to the 24-hour food stalls, no arguments about that. Cheese prata stall is also there, and 7-11 for your supplies (edible and otherwise). Walk a little further along Pasir Panjang Road and you will find Pasta Fresca, and a little grocery store that sells fruits, veggies etc. One word of advice about the 24-hour stalls: Fong Seng tends to be a little expensive, and service at Cheese Prata is not the greatest. I personally prefer Chong Pang because it’s more affordable and it’s easier to find seats there.

PEOPLE: Arts girls (yum) and Arts boys (also yum) make up the bulk of Yousucks residents. And in case you think Arts boys are the type who will recite poetry to you and bring you for quiet picnics in the park and generally be all SNAG, the Yousucks ones are more manly. Many of them are IVP sportsmen and are responsible for Yousucks’ great track record in Inter-Hall Games. There are also a lot of Engin people (particularly from the mainland) and a number of Science people. Yousucks’ niche is in Architecture students. A number of the current Year 1s (my friends!) are not bad-looking, and because they have artistic tendencies, may be a better bet on the SNAG front. For guys, if you’re looking for a sweet, quiet girl who isn’t from China, then you’ll have to look really hard because everyone knows Arts girls are more assertive. Try the Malaysians, they seem quite docile (I am a major exception).

POTENTIAL: Hall BGRs are the norm, I think. With a high concentration of beautiful people, it’s inevitable that they will hook up and (so the Government hopes) produce beautiful babies later. But if you are not so beautiful, and not talented in sports or culture, then you will probably feel left out, relationship-wise. But never fear, there’s always your faculty mates. The only thing you’ll be missing out on is the convenience of visiting your other half in the middle of the night. To discuss tutorials, that is. (Yes, we believe you.)

NASTY HISTORIES: Back in days of yore, Yousucks College was located next to the boys-only Roughly Hall. (Asking for trouble.) Many pranks ensued and apparently many bigshots courted Yousucks girls. So romantic…
But for real gossip, all you have to do is take note of your neighbours’ comings and goings, or monitor the shoes outside. Shoes are the best indicator. If I want to know if my friend is inside sleeping, ‘entertaining’ or gone out, I’ll look at the shoes. Of course, you must be familiar with how many pairs he/she has. My close (guy) friend is dating my neighbour, and for weeks I thought she had bought a new pair of sneakers when actually those were her boyfriend’s shoes (he wears almost the same size as her).

Due to the open nature of Yousucks (no perimeter fence), we get outsiders coming in willy-nilly. This can be useful if, like me, your paramour is not a Hall person. It means they can come in straight and knock on your door without the powers-that-be noticing, and you can keep ‘squatters’ in your room. Theoretically speaking, I could share my room with my boyfriend for the entire school term. It is obviously in contravention of the Hall rules, because the room is meant for one person, not two, and certainly not of opposite sexes. While I don’t know of anyone who does that, there is a rumour that a girl is sharing her room with her lesbian partner. They seem to keep a very low profile, so I can’t really affirm that rumour. But it’s the most salacious gossip I’ve heard so far.

At orientation we were told ghost stories about spirits that have since been exorcised from Yousucks. I’ll leave that to the seniors to tell, otherwise I’ll ruin the thrill of orientation. I personally think underwear thieves are a greater threat. I’ve seen the thief twice. The first time, I didn’t think he was up to anything, although he was acting very suspiciously. The second time, I saw him in action. If I see him a third time I’ll call the boys on him, now that I’m sure he’s up to no good. Disgusting pervert. This is what happens when you don’t have a fence to keep outsiders out.

And if anyone asks why I don’t talk about more important things like our dance production, extra-curricular activities and all that, I’ll scold them in an Ah-Beng manner: “Say already that one they tell you at Open House! I repeat for what! You never go and listen is your problem!” So that’s why such things aren’t covered. You can get such info off the respective hall websites anyway.

And if you die-die must know which hall is better than which, I’d tell you to wait for the whole series then make your own decision. I wouldn’t know what you’re looking for in a hall. But since you asked:
Yousucks is better than everyone in food and people. It is good in sports but not as good as TMS, and location is subjective. I think Ken Rich might have better facilities, but its rooms are smaller.

To be continued.

If you are searching for information on: Eusoff, Temasek, Kent Ridge, Sheares, Raffles, King Edward VII – you’re in the right place!

In a series starting today, I will explore each of Noose’s student residential halls. Instead of telling you the same old crap you hear at Open House, I’ll reveal the actual reasons some are so popular and others are just ho-hum. All hall names have been disguised so that future applicants may still make an unbiased choice. I, however, have no intentions of being fair.

First a general overview of my aims and objectives:
(Like a good report, must have some kind of outline)

-To reveal the true perks of hall life.
-To convince you that no matter what the admin says, some halls are better than others.
-To show you, yes you with your brand new A-level cert and you, NSman, what you will be in for if you choose a certain hall over others.
-To reveal to some open-minded adults what today’s undergrads get up to behind closed doors, and to help you reminisce about your uni days.

A little information for those who did not suffer through the Noose system:
There are 6 halls of residence on campus. Note the word Halls.
Other places of accommodation exist, most notably Prince George’s Park Residences. Other less famous (and less pretty) places are Kuok Foundation House, Ridge View Residences and Tower Block. Ridge View is actually a ‘recycled’ residence. It has forsaken its old identity and is now officially Ridge View, according to the latest campus map.
We shall not be covering these residences because they lack certain important features such as being a real hall with a real crest, a flag, an anthem, a cheer, hall colours and the ability to inspire loyalty and tears.

A few random nuggets pertaining to halls in general:
Room rates are the same no matter which hall you choose. Single rooms cost $60 per week, and double rooms which you share with a roommate cost $40 per week. If you’re the type who is very very fussy about roommates and privacy, pay 50% more and ask for a single room. Roommate aggravation is a leading cause of undergraduate stress.

Some halls are ‘twins’ with others, meaning they have roughly the same layout or design. More to be revealed.

Now for the naming system:
If you’ve gone through the system you should be able to recognize the names immediately. I’ll just ramble on for a bit here about why I chose the names I did. By the way, the very first line right at the top is meant to be some sort of keyword tag to make sure that this series reaches its target audience. I remember the hard time I had trying to find information on the hall I was posted to. Anyway. Let’s have a little game! Without referring to the list above, let’s see how many of these you can identify.

Yousucks Hall (yah it’s supposed to be grammatically wrong.)
TMS Hall (I was going to call it Tamade Hall, but that’s way too rude. ‘Tamade’ means ‘his mother’ in Mandarin. It’s a swear word. If I had really called it that, I’d be insulting not just the hall, but the schools, the poly, the JC, the GLC…)
Ken Rich Hall (because the kids in there all got money, that’s why they’re in Law and Bizad.)
BSers Hall (Hehe, a rude name at last. Sorry if you come from there, but think about who the hall is named after, you’ll get it. Otherwise ask me in comments.)
Cavey Hall (this is how I always read it from the backs of their jackets)
Roughly Hall (my other alternative was to call it Rabbles Hall, but it is too obvious and also insults the residents directly. And I have friends living there.)

To be continued.

The year I turned 16, my parents finally bought a new computer to replace our 8-year-old dinosaur. I went straight from Windows 3.1 and using MS-DOS to input commands to play games from a floppy disk, to Windows 98 Second Edition (with USB support no less). The biggest change it wrought in my life, however, was the Internet.

Before, going online for me was a rare event, something that only happened at my mum’s office or occasionally at cyber-cafes. I didn’t like going to cyber-cafes because those places were the stronghold of teenage boys beating the virtual crap out of each other, while uttering swear words as though they were combat spells or cheat codes. So when our new computer arrived, I guarded it jealously, because it contained the secrets to life, boys, and free mp3s. I discovered many things about the world and myself from it, and one of the things I stumbled upon was ICQ Planetout.

ICQ Planetout was my first encounter with a gay site. More correctly, it is a portal for those of the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) camp. It was as good as any in being my introduction to the LGBT lifestyle. The one feature which really caught my attention was the comics page, probably because of my short attention span.

Through those comics I understood that the lives of gays and lesbians aren’t much different from those of ‘mainstream’ families. ICQ Planetout is an American site, so obviously the comics focused on American gays and their (more liberal) lives. But the themes the comics explored made sense to me, a heterosexual Asian girl. The comic characters set up home together, they started business ventures, went out, made out, broke up, made up, had babies, and campaigned against Bush in the 2004 elections. All the above could have been done by anyone, straight or gay. The only difference is who they do it with.

Go to the site and see for yourself. My personal favourite was ‘Ethan Green’, but the artist has gone on a very long sabbatical. ‘A Couple of Guys’ is full of puns, and the artist, Dave Brosseau, was the first online entity I ever sent an email to. Meaning he was the first person whom I didn’t know in real life to receive an email from me. It was a big deal for me when he replied. It was almost like getting an autographed photo of my idol, it was proof that I mattered as a fan and a reader.

I don’t know if the site made me a fag hag. Not that I hang out with gay men (don’t know any), but I know the parlance and I understand a bit of their history and symbols: Stonewall, the rainbow flag, pink triangle. I wonder what the reaction would be if I had tried to access that site while using a school computer in JC. Would I get the infamous MOE “Access Denied!” screen? Would that make me a subversive underage individual trying to view content for which she is not deemed mature enough? Then when am I mature enough to see such content, or is it in my best interests that I never see such content for fear that I might engage in activities that go against “family values”?

I’m really angered by the reaction of the population jumping on the Gay=Aids bandwagon. LGBTs aren’t all the disease-bearing hedonists you think they are. But I guess you didn’t have the Internet at 16 to help you understand that.

If you’ve never had a thread run over your face to remove hair, this is my suggestion to you: Do it. If you’re a lady, that is. Men should stay far far away from this activity because they will be squealing in pain. I went to Clementi to do face threading because that’s the only non-salon place I know of where there’s such a service. When I went today, there were 2 ladies in charge. Apparently one does eyebrows and the other does the rest of the face.

Those who are wondering how a thread can remove hair: Just go down to Clementi on a weekend, be a busybody and stand there and watch. No one can blame you for looking, it’s out in the open after all. It doesn’t really hurt very badly, but if you’re getting your face done as well then it may pinch a bit when she does your sideburns and hairline. So far, this is the only method I know that can remove all the upper lip hair without swelling. Waxing doesn’t work properly for me, some hairs always manage to escape. Tweezing your upper lip is a bad bad idea, because it causes it to swell. I did it once and never did so again.

I got a bit of a shock, however, when she handed me a mirror. I looked at my eyebrows and the first thought that came in was “I should have told her to go easy on them.” They were quite skinny and arched, very unlike my usual thick brows with their gentle curve. Part of the difference came from the fact that she had trimmed the hairs as well, and I never trim my eyebrow hair because I’m afraid that my butterfingers will snip off a big chunk.

For about 15 minutes after I was done, my cheeks were numb from getting all the hair on them pulled out. They’re okay now and feel fantastically smooth. I’d recommend this treatment if you’re really fussy about getting all the hair out, no matter what the cost. But it’s just a wee bit too painful for me.

There, now everyone can see my new eyebrows before they grow out and become unruly again. When I got home from Clementi I went over to the boys’ corridor to seek reassurance. Jit said I look just fine, except for the pimple which you can see in all its red glory on my forehead. Good friends always point out your flaws, eh?

For a comparison before and after, go here where I have a comparative study going on.

The latest meme to hit Singapore: The Sexyblogger project! Inspired by Xiaxue and launched by mr brown and Mr Miyagi, it features photos of bloggers sticking their tongues out and trying to look ‘sexy’. My picture can be found at my photoblog and also at ‘A Gonzo Journal‘ where apparently some very kind people think I look cute. I am so flattered!

This picture thing has resulted in much mirth, hilarity and occasional grossness (thanks to certain people using certain infamous pictures). It’s been great fun being part of this trend, and now my flickr account is showing a high number of views. I’m quite embarrassed by all the attention.

And the best thing is that an old friend found my blog and was thoroughly shocked that I blogged. I’m wondering how she found it in the first place.

For 15 minutes I was famous in the blogosphere. I can die happy now. Or rather, I’m so happy now that I don’t even care about failing my statistics test.

Visit the above sites, and also mrbrown for a full history of this new craze.

Monday was a good day for lecture antics. My lecturer for Science of Music is, by profession, a Physics lecturer. He handles the Science of Music module because he was the one who came up with it. And on this day, he brought a MIDI box to class to show us. So he was standing by the podium, holding up the little box (about CD-size) and telling us what it does when some smart guy in the back requests,

“Prof Tan, can you use the imager?”

The imager is what I call a visualizer. Basically it’s a camera attached to a stand and works like a projector. It’s a bit like a cross between a webcam and the traditional OHP. It’s a common tool at this level of education, I used them back in junior college.

The professor looked at the table, and at the previously unnoticed black implement.
“Oh, all right. I’ve never used one before.” So he got it to work and display properly, and then the fun started. He realised what the buttons did, and pressed one while mumbling “zoom in” and voila! the image magnified alarmingly. “Zoom out,” he muttered, and it returned to a more normal zoom distance. Then he picked up the box and raised it near the camera lens and the object on screen rushed out at us. We all started laughing at this point, because it was just so incongrous. Technology makes kids of us all. I hope we taught him something useful yesterday.

And in tutorial… (this bit is very much like Agagooga’s snippets of mispronunciations)
“So you can see they’re very close apart”
Pray tell, sir, how are they close apart? I didn’t realise we were in creative writing class exploring romantic paradoxes. Like, “on our first date, we sat very close apart” or something like that?

And in the same tutorial, I had a very nasty surprise. The final exam was not multiple-choice. It involved writing. I was sitting there swearing in shock for a few moments, because that meant I had to revamp my entire study plan to accommodate a few days of brain-busting memorization of terminology. I’ve lost hope of doing well for this module. Please just let me get a B, I promise I’ll be satisfied! (Though of course the mugger toad in me demands nothing less than A-.)

One month to exams. That means the blanket of tension and gloom will once again descend upon Yousucks.

You know that quote about monkeys and typewriters and the possibility of one of them churning out Shakespeare? Well, I think I have a similar little simian in my brain churning out very random thoughts.

This is a product of such random thought:

“By Zeus, I’m beautiful!” The young Greek girl exclaimed.
“Shhh! How dare you blaspheme like that!” scolded her mother. “It is unseemly for you to say the god’s name! And besides,” the mother added, “don’t get all puffed up about being beautiful. It’s nothing special.”
“But it is!” protested the girl. “Zeus himself proved it.”
“Oh really? And pray tell, how did he do that?”
“He appeared to me today and told me that I was the most beautiful maiden for miles around. Then he invited me to visit Mount Olympus.”
The mother paled. “And how did you reply?”
“I ran off.”
“Did he throw down any lightning bolts, or other signs of anger?”
“No. Just disappeared, that’s all.”
The mother sighed with relief. “He’s in one of his capricious moods again. Thank the gods he wasn’t serious. All the same, I think we should send you to the countryside. Hard work and rich food should make you less attractive to deities.”

And how did my little brain-monkey generate this? It happened thus: I was singing Christina Aguilera’s ‘Beautiful’, because of the refrain ‘I am beautiful’. Then the phrase “By Zeus, I’m beautiful” popped into my head, and the above ensued.

Less beer nuts for you, monkey!